Mike Gurr spoke to Lon Woodbury on Parent Choices for Struggling Teens about the importance of combating shame. This is a weekly radio show hosted on LA Talk Radio that discusses problems associated with at-risk teens. Mike Gurr is the Clinical Director of Sedona Sky Academy. Lon Woodbury is an Independent Educational Consultant who has worked with families and at-risk adolescents since 1984.
About Mike Gurr
Sedona Sky Academy is an all girls school in Rim Rock, Arizona. Here Mike Gurr serves as its Clinical Director. Prior to becoming a counselor after getting a master's degree in Professional Counseling from Argosy University, he was a coach in high schools and colleges because had obtained a masters degree from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science.
How Combating Shame Restores Psychological Well-being
Combating shame, Mike contended, is the best way to help adolescents restore emotional well-being.
Shame, said Mike, is a result of two primary fears. The first is that I am not good enough. The second is questioning self-worth. Behind both fears is the belief if that others really knew us, they would not like us. This is what keeps the cycle of shame going.
The main problem with shame is that it makes people inauthentic. This, then, keeps them small. People who have shame do not feel that they are important enough to belong in their social group. Although shame is a powerful psychological block, it is usually not obvious. This is because people tend to hide it behind a demeanor of stony silence or aggression. Shame correlates with many psychological disorders.
Since America, as a whole, is a society that emphasizes the value of personal achievement, it uses shame as a tool to make young people take responsibility for their lives. However, the result is just the opposite. Shame creates either a sense of unwarranted entitlement or a sense of apathy and blame.
Mike said that the based way to combat shame is to create shame-resilience. This consisted of recognizing shame triggers; practicing critical awareness about shame-provoking messages; identifying people and environments that triggered shame; and speaking through the feeling of shame. Other ways of dissipating shame included increasing self-awareness, showing up, being seen, and being vulnerable. Letting go of what other people thought about them allowed a person to experience an expansion of creativity, love, and joy.
Sharing true stories about girls at Sedona Sky Academy who had overcome shame provided listeners with insights about how the process of empowerment worked. Basically, an empowered person was genuine, open, and quit opting to numb out.
About Mike Gurr
Sedona Sky Academy is an all girls school in Rim Rock, Arizona. Here Mike Gurr serves as its Clinical Director. Prior to becoming a counselor after getting a master's degree in Professional Counseling from Argosy University, he was a coach in high schools and colleges because had obtained a masters degree from the University of Utah in Exercise and Sport Science.
How Combating Shame Restores Psychological Well-being
Combating shame, Mike contended, is the best way to help adolescents restore emotional well-being.
Shame, said Mike, is a result of two primary fears. The first is that I am not good enough. The second is questioning self-worth. Behind both fears is the belief if that others really knew us, they would not like us. This is what keeps the cycle of shame going.
The main problem with shame is that it makes people inauthentic. This, then, keeps them small. People who have shame do not feel that they are important enough to belong in their social group. Although shame is a powerful psychological block, it is usually not obvious. This is because people tend to hide it behind a demeanor of stony silence or aggression. Shame correlates with many psychological disorders.
Since America, as a whole, is a society that emphasizes the value of personal achievement, it uses shame as a tool to make young people take responsibility for their lives. However, the result is just the opposite. Shame creates either a sense of unwarranted entitlement or a sense of apathy and blame.
Mike said that the based way to combat shame is to create shame-resilience. This consisted of recognizing shame triggers; practicing critical awareness about shame-provoking messages; identifying people and environments that triggered shame; and speaking through the feeling of shame. Other ways of dissipating shame included increasing self-awareness, showing up, being seen, and being vulnerable. Letting go of what other people thought about them allowed a person to experience an expansion of creativity, love, and joy.
Sharing true stories about girls at Sedona Sky Academy who had overcome shame provided listeners with insights about how the process of empowerment worked. Basically, an empowered person was genuine, open, and quit opting to numb out.
About the Author:
Lon Woodbury, the founder of Struggling Teens, has recorded the entire interview on his weekly L.A. Talk Radio show for people to at their convenience.
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